by Darlene Vice

Perfectionist. That describes me perfectly (pun intended). Those who know me well will tell you that everything I do is over the top. Whether I’m teaching a Wednesday night Bible class or decorating for a wedding (it’s a hobby!), every detail is precise. I like to say I’m operating out of a spirit of excellence, but there is a fine line between excellence and perfectionism that is really easy to cross.

Why does it matter? Excellence is from God and brings peace in knowing that I have done my best to serve and please Him in whatever task it is. Perfectionism brings torment for fear of failure. My perfectionist personality is not a compliment. Far from it.

I’ve struggled with some things lately, and God has revealed some strongholds in my life. I wasn’t surprised that there is a stronghold, but I must admit I was surprised at the root. Are you ready? The root is fear of failure. (Notice that in the last sentence I said there IS a stronghold, not WAS a stronghold. I’m still working on it. Actually, the revelation is new, so I’m still in the processing stage.)

God has revealed that fear of failure dominates every area of my life. I could list all of those areas, and I could go into detail about what God is downloading into me, but the bottom line is that my perfectionism is an attempt to prove that I am capable of accomplishment.

My biggest struggle, though, is not how failure and lack of accomplishment has affected me, but I now know it has even changed my perspective so much that I also see failure and lack of accomplishment in other people. To say that’s wrong is an UNDERSTATEMENT!!!!!! (even with all the caps and exclamation points). Looking back, I see how much pressure I put on my husband and my children to measure up to what I thought they should.

Judgment of others plays a major role in how I became a failure in my own eyes, and fear of more judgment is how I became a perfectionist.

But God—isn’t that beautiful? We have a mess, but God. It’s pure chaos, but God. But God always fits, because He comes into it all with love, grace, wisdom, and truth and changes everything.

What does my story have to do with loving and praying for prodigals? In the middle of my revelation that I’m trying to prove I’m capable of accomplishment, I remembered a word that God had given me a few years ago: He is the God of Capability. While that word fits my personal situation now, it was actually given to me a few years ago for a prodigal who had been saved for whom I still prayed while he was trying to turn his life around. He was not following the plan I had made, and I was especially tough on him. All I could see were the failures, and I was overwhelmed by the what ifs and the what could have beens that he had missed. I lived what I can only describe as a heart-broken state, wondering how God could possibly still have a perfect plan. But God.

Maybe your prodigal or former prodigal has made some decisions and failed in several ways. Maybe it’s hard to see their lives differently, even after they are no longer prodigals, especially if other people constantly speak negative things and tell you that your former prodigal will never recover from the failure that came as a result of choices they made. But God. He’s the God of Capability.

I want to share the word God spoke to me when He revealed Himself as the God of Capability. Let it encourage, renew hope, and change your perspective:

September 14, 2021: Depending on your situation, your former prodigal may have many failures as they adjust and learn to walk in their new life, and there may be times that the enemy will tell you they are incapable of getting it together, but God is God of Capability! He did not heal, deliver, and restore for a mere existence. He has a better plan than that. He intends for them to be productive, to be able to support themselves and their families. He looks at them through eyes of what is going to be, what is already done in the spirit realm that is yet to be revealed in the natural. God is excited over what He has in store! He can’t wait to see you smile when the new revelations come to your FORMER prodigal! He is like a parent at Christmas who can’t wait for you to open your present. He knows He has just what you asked for, and He is almost giddy with excitement at how much you’re going to love it. He has fought for this. He went into the trenches after your prodigal for this. He chased your prodigal for this. And all of the armies of Heaven engaged in battle for this. Your present is wrapped and under the tree (the cross)! It’s Christmas Eve right now, but Christmas morning will dawn soon.”